Anthony Ricardi‘s review of:
Movie sequel (to “The Da Vinci Code”) or book prequel, the story core remains the same; faith vs. science. Can there ever be a reconciliation between the two? The other weighty conflict that will prompt viewers to discuss at length later is that of Harvard professor Robert Langdon’s (Tom Hank’s) new hair vs. his coif in the last pic. On that front, at least, an answer has been arrived at that could be deemed definitive. The new hair is the way to go (but his bizarre former mega-nerd ‘do will be missed). Is the film as much of an improvement over the first installment? Well yes, and no…
It is apparent that director Ron Howard (Clint’s big brother) and the rest of the filmmaking team went to school after “The Da Vinci Code.” Although a world-wide commercial success, that film took a serious critical drubbing, many considering it laughable at points. No one likes to be made fun of, even a director with the acclaim Howard has received over the years. So it is fairly obvious that this time he would go beyond a workmanlike but dependable take on the material (for which he is known) and give us a real show… Sometimes, however, when someone sets out to prove something after their pride is wounded, the results can go beyond energized, to desperate… and that is just what has happened here. Ronnie has thrown the kitchen sink at us, utilizing every technique and trick to make certain that this time no one will be bored. But this is not Howard’s game (as it is, for instance, J.J.Abrams)… and in the process of attempting to amp things up, the tried-and-true, measured approach, Howard’s usual approach, was largely abandoned.
What remains is scene after scene where Ron attempts to make something from nothing, lensing pedantic dialog exchanges from every possible angle (usually tracking around and around on a dolly for good measure, to the point of dizziness) but failing to make the wordy script appreciably more enthralling. That being said, the final result is better than the last one – but that’s kind of like stating that a slightly edited State of the Union speech is a bit easier to absorb than one that rambles on. Neither is something you greatly look forward to sitting through. The plot has been trimmed down from the source novel, and a few things changed or eliminated entirely, but the film is what it is – a trumped-up, detailed pseudo-history lesson better mulled over page-by-page on a plane flight than absorbed in a movie theater.
There is an opening section involving the CERN Large Hadron Collider particle accelerator that could have very well been edited or alluded to later. This intro explains anti-matter and the Higgs boson or “God Particle,” the theoretical (well, not here) foundational unit of matter supposedly underlying the entire universe. The other thing this initial part of the flick provides is a warning concerning the downside of retinal scanning for security purposes, and a gross-out moment brought about by a mysterious intruder (who we find out more about, soon) when stealing some of the ultra-rare antimatter. This critic really hopes that if any actual antimatter is ever produced in quantity, the security surrounding it will be a whole lot more extensive and layered than that at the movie’s version of the LHC! They seem to have far more stringent safeguards against theft at an average Target store… At any rate, also introduced is the character of Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer) an Italian scientist who later teams with Langdon in Rome in an attempt to track down the “hot” antimatter.
The mysterious heavies this time are not Opus Dei, but the scientifically oriented/humanistic Illuminati who have pitted themselves for centuries against that 800 lb. religious gorilla/impediment, the Catholic Church. The Illuminati (Enlightened Ones) are discussed incessantly, ever-present but never seen, which makes them all the more malevolent. Everywhere and nowhere is a great rep to have if you intend to be scary, scheming hidden rulers of the world. Their chief representative, and the physical embodiment of Illuminati single-mindedness, is the charming fellow known only as the Assassin (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) . This guy plagues our scholarly hero Langdon, always one step ahead and deadly as a pit full of vipers. As he has no real name in the picture, is Italian, is more than a bit brutal, and since the last time this critic saw anyone as unstoppable was on “24,” your humble reviewer instantly began referring to him as Bauerini. In fact, the pacing and feel of especially the central portion of the film is very “24″ meets “The Bourne Identity” (but compromised severely by intrusive blah-blah) with an anti-hero getting all the best action scenes. Instead of an entire day to work things out, however, Langdon only has six hours once he hits the ground in Rome, where Bauerini has hidden a timed anti-matter bomb designed to take out all of Vatican City. Concerning the Eternal City, Rome has never looked better… because most of the interiors of buildings such as the Pantheon and St. Peter’s are actually CGI-enhanced. They are gorgeous recreations, capturing the scale of such iconic structures perfectly.
There follows a series of introduced subplots, most of which are designed as distractions and red herrings. We do get into the interwoven politics of the election of a new Pope, as the old one has just died. The incredibly ambitious Bauerini, single-handedly, has kidnapped the Preferiti, or the four cardinals in line to be the next Pontiff, and threatens to kill them off one by one on the hour… besides having earlier pulled off the aforementioned antimatter bomb thing. This guy eats his Wheaties… So, as the threat involves the Illuminati, the Vatican police have sent for Prof. Langdon, master of the arcane. We meet cardinals, Swiss Guards, Italian cops and the priest known as the Camerlengo (which sounds like a focus-grouped name for a hybrid vehicle, but who is really the temporary place holder of Papal power until a new one can be elected), Patrick McKenna (Ewan McGregor). As there are absolutely no romantic sparks between Langdon and the exotic Ms. Vetra, we, thankfully, waste no additional time with that stuff, the duo becoming the Holmes and Watson of the ruins. These two spend more time grubbing below ground in just a few hours than an average high school D&D club spends in a month.
In terms of RPG’s, by the way, that’s just what a goodly portion of our flick feels like – a live action or computerized game. Langdon and/or Vetra enter a spooky, ancient room or corridor, they seek out the obscure carved or painted iconography that has somehow been overlooked for hundreds of years, decipher it instantaneously (the Professor being a pedantic know-it-all to the point of irritation), find the hidden passageway the symbol points to, and so on… and on. Thankfully there is Bauerini, who pops up to cause trouble like Kato in the old Pink Panther flicks. Besides these repeated motifs, we keep cutting back to the Conclave of cardinals who are having great difficulty deciding who exactly the next Pope should be. Meanwhile the populace waits outside in a brilliantly recreated St. Peters square, waiting for white smoke to replace black, indicating a positive decision has finally been reached. But these faithful, unbeknown to them, are in terrible danger, the antimatter bomb threat ever-present and potentially inconceivably devastating. Will Langdon suss out the final whereabouts of the bomb with out boring us and his partner into drooling semi-consciousness? Will we see every major landmark in Rome, all gussied up with computer graphic embellishment? Will you lose count of the number of characters who smoke (very Euro)? Just how many good guys will Bauerini cap (this critic lost count)? Will anyone ever stop for Gelato, which is a must, really…
In terms of performances, they are uniformly perfunctory, everyone from Hanks to McGregor to sullen Stellan Skarsgard as Commander Richter of the Swiss Guard and Armin Mueller-Stahl as Cardinal Strauss just sort of filling space, cardboard paperback novel throwaways. The one character that rises slickly above all this is the Assassin/Bauerini. Nikolaj Lie Kaas at least attempts to give us something beyond line-readings, his tortured and torturing character the only one in here that comes close to fascinating… Were that the actual Illuminati, far above and beyond our grunt assassin, were examined. Oh, yes… they’re real, but obviously that can’t be gone into, now or ever. In fact, forget it was ever mentioned, OK?
Building to an over-the-top set piece, the film then goes on a half hour beyond to its detriment. By the end credits, the only thing this critic asked of this film was that it let me out.
It can only be hoped that in the future the author of the original story, Dan Brown, takes on a truly sinister outfit (and lets up on Catholics, for goodness sakes), such as the IRS, and that Opie directs the flick once again in the same manner, but even more improved. Then we would get to see Washington as computer game backdrop, and maybe Nicolas Cage could pop by to inject some actual fun into the proceedings. He’s a national treasure, that one…
Bottom Line: Although better than the first film in the series and containing some nice visuals, this talky and generally thrill-less “thriller” fails to grab hold, with a last half hour that goes completely to Hades.
Critic’s Rating: C (for Catholicism)
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