Thomas Bess’ review of:

Before we get too far, I think it should be made very clear that this is NOT a review of the 2004 Elisha Cuthbert vehicle of the same name. While I never actually saw that film, I feel fairly safe in telling you that it has nothing in common with this flick based on Jack Ketchum’s crazy-ass novel from 1989. I should also note that this one’s been sitting on my shelf for quite some time. Every time I’d go to pick out the evening’s viewing material, I’d stare at it and go “Ya know, I need to watch that” and promptly pick something else. Not because I was worried it wouldn’t be a good story, but because I’d read the source material and knew it was going to be relentlessly grim. Well, last Sunday afternoon featured a whole smorgasbord of nothing, so I finally popped JK’sTGND into the player and settled in to watch. Turns out I was right on both counts. It’s a great little movie that’s unbelievably bleak.

Plot’s pretty simple — It’s the summer of 1958 in Anytown, USA. Young David Moran (Manche) is lazing away the summer hanging out with his friends in rather Stand By Me / Sandlot fashion. Things get a lot less idyllic when Meg Loughlin (Auffarth) and her crippled sister Susan move in with their aunt, Ruth Chandler (Baker) and her three sons Willie, Donnie and Ralphie. It quickly becomes apparent that David and Meg are sweet on each other, but their handholding and Ferris Wheel riding is interrupted by Ruth’s descent into madness. For reasons that are never fully explained, “Auntie Ruth” has a serious bone to pick with Meg and Susan and it isn’t very long before she’s got Meg tied up in the basement and letting her sons go at the helpless teen in increasingly sadistic ways. David’s the only one who isn’t swallowed up by the batshit craziness of this “game” and when it becomes apparent the Chandler’s aren’t going to stop until their plaything is dead, David hatches a plan to rescue the sisters without ending up as Meg’s replacement.

So what’s good? The acting is solid through and through, with Auffarth putting a lot into a character that spends a good chunk of the film hung up, bound or otherwise tortured. And Blanche Baker is excellent in the role of Ruth. In a lot of horror films, I end up rooting for, sympathizing with or at least noting the coolness of, the villain. Not this time. There wasn’t a single frame when she was on-screen that I didn’t absolutely despise the character and that takes some doing. The torture scenes are handled well — there isn’t a lot of blood spilled on camera, but it’s filmed in such a way to make you cringe over every cut, gouge, burn or punch. It’s nowhere near as in-your-face as the SAW flicks or the nihilist slaughter-fest that was Martyrs, but I still came away from The Girl Next Door much more disquieted than I did from any of those films.

So what’s not good? Well, that’s hard to put a finger on. There’s nothing particularly wrong with it, but it’s also rather difficult (for me at least) to say too many good things about a story that deals with the prolonged torture of a teenage girl. There are several times throughout the movie that you’ll slap your forehead and wonder just why the hell our hero hasn’t called the cops or better yet, just tell the crazy jerks to cut it out. That David waits until Meg is three-quarters dead to spring his plan makes him little better than a passive accomplice to the rest of the gang and thusly pretty hard to sympathize with. That leaves you rooting for Meg to escape her bonds and either bring down the wrath of the law, or cut a bloody swath of vengeance. But either of those options might be considered happy endings and my friends, there are no happy endings here. (That shouldn’t be considered a spoiler, more of a warning. Don’t go into this one expecting to come out with a smile on your face. Unless you’re a very twisted individual)

In the end, I’d hate to warn you away because this film manages to be far more distressing than the majority of “Girl tied to chair” stories, but just be aware that if you do decide to visit The Girl Next Door, she’ll probably tag along with you long after the movie is over.

Til next time, always remember the calls are coming from inside the house.

Director: Gregory Wilson

Starring: Blythe Auffarth, Daniel Manche, Blanche Baker, Grant Show, Graham Patrick Martin

Running time: A very uncomfortable 91 minutes.

Tom Bess has sideburns that are so big they might be considered a beard shaving accident from afar. He blames his current mental state on Stephen King, Mike Nelson, Seth McFarlane and Vince McMahon but bears them no ill will. He passes his time writing movie reviews, but will flee the interwebs forever as soon as Allison Mack starts returning his calls.