A Thomas Bess review of:
Directed By: Jon Favreau
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson
Run Time: 124 minutes spent wondering how many more movies I’d have to wait to see the goddamned Mandarin.
(In the interest of full disclosure I would like it to be known that I am penning this review while occasionally drinking from a collectible SLURPEE cup emblazoned with a sort of lenticular of the Black Widow. And while it is in fact a sturdy beverage conveyance, I’m trying to remain objective in regard to the film itself. Thanks for understanding.)
‘Lo my friends and step softly for the time is upon us. Yes, the chattering, nattering Cyclops of another summer blockbuster season looms on the horizon and that means for the next four months we shall bear witness to a glorious parade of A-Listers, abundant CGI, myriad explosions, scripts of questionable cogency and of course, the first shadowy harbingers of NEXT year’s summer blockbuster season. (You’re a teasing sonoffabitch J.J. Abrams. Yes you are.) Leading the cavalcade of popcorn munchers this year is Iron Man 2, a worthy follow up to the 2008 original, if not exactly the supersonic laser-powered upgrade I’d been hoping for.
The plot, (for those of you with the amazing ability to somehow avoid the ad campaign while still possessing an internet connection) is as follows. Despite being a billionaire superhero, Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) has loads of problems. His company is in disarray, the government wants him to hand over the Iron Man technology, and that very same tech is slowly poisoning his blood. As if that wasn’t bad enough, along comes Ivan Vanko (Rourke — the least likely Russian physicist you’ll ever encounter I’d wager) a scary lookin’ fella with access to Stark’s technology and a penchant for laser whips. After smacking our hero around on a race track in Monaco, Vanko is spirited away from prison by Justin Hammer (Rockwell) a corporate rival to Stark who wants to “make Iron Man look like an antique”. All the craziness leads to a crisis of faith for Tony, which in this case means being loud and obnoxious while wearing his robotic duds. His buddy, James Rhodes (Cheadle) has about all of the crap he can take and hijacks one of the spare suits, leading to the christening of War Machine, a character far too competent to be referred to as a mere sidekick. Long story short, Stark broods in humorous fashion, gets his mojo back and helps his partner in robo-justice take down a squadron of murderous drones built by Hammer and programmed by Vanko. Oh and Nick Fury (Jackson) and the Black Widow (Johansson) are hanging around too, presumably because it was a slow couple of days in the Marvel Universe.
So what’s good? As in the first installment, this is Robert Downey Jr.’s show to steal and he makes most of the opportunity, proving to be the most entertaining and charismatic of the super powered bunch in recent memory. Even when the script has him doing things that border on absolutely silly (eating donuts while lounging in a giant donut or skeet shooting random objects with energy blasters) he makes Stark an engaging, flawed protagonist who’s just as interesting as his world saving alter-ego. The rest of the cast holds up well, though it may be just a bit too large to make full use of everyone. While there’s plenty for Cheadle and Paltrow to play with, Rourke and Rockwell don’t really have enough time to develop as truly menacing threats. It’s a shame because they both do a fine job when they’re on screen, Rockwell especially plays the sleazy industrialist type to a tee and I could see him making a return later on down the line. The whole “not having enough to do” problem goes double for Johansson and Jackson, the Widow has to wait ’til the last act to beat up a generic squad of goons, while Fury seems to hang around merely to tease us about The Avengers. Effects are top notch as expected, Iron Man and War Machine look spot on as do the various beams, blasts and booms doled out by their arsenals. Same goes for the carnage inflicted by Vanko’s energy whips — it’s just too bad they don’t feature into the story more as he’s a much more interesting villain than the swarm of drones in the finale, which, while realistic, come off as rather, well, drone-like.
What’s not so good? I know it seems like a harsh judgment to make against a flick of this nature but there are some parts of IM2 when it just gets too silly for its own good. This bugs the crap out of me because the original knew when to play it safe and when to let loose with the one-liners. Now there are some memorable dramatic moments sprinkled throughout (Stark meeting Vanko in prison, the developing relationship between Stark and Pepper Potts) but they come off as tragically outnumbered by bad comedy or just straight-up wonkiness. The whole DJ sequence at the birthday party being a perfect example of the former while the bit with the gigantic table of mysterious fatherly revelations typifies the latter. Seriously, while that was going on I thought the erstwhile Mr. Stark had unknowingly wandered into a third National Treasure. Now, a friend of mine pointed out the inherent nitpickiness of bitching about a secret laden table in a movie where the main character flies around and fights evil in an indestructible suit but it still doesn’t sit right with me dammit. Finally, I love robot on robot violence as much as anyone else, but he fought the Ironmonger at the end of the first film, couldn’t we step outside the oversized mech suit category the second time around? And if not, couldn’t you at least have the courtesy to bring in the Crimson Dynamo?
Should you see it? Despite the snark-heavy tone of the last few paragraphs, I think you’ll find a lot to enjoy at Iron Man 2. (Before I forget, someone you know has probably spoiled this already, but make sure to stay after the credits. You won’t regret it.) Just know going in that while it has plenty more of all the things that made the first one so good, it’s also…well, it’s misplaced its heart. Here’s hoping Favreau and company are able to get it charged up and back in place by the time the Mandarin comes callin’.
In honor of the villain this movie should’ve had, I’m awarding Iron Man 2 six out of ten rings.
Til next time, always remember that the calls are coming from inside the house.
Tom Bess recently shaved his legendary sideburns at a cost of two hours and five pounds. The end result is a slightly puffier, but much more aerodynamic movie-reviewing machine who is still patiently waiting for Allison Mack to return his calls. While he’s waiting, he’ll read copious amounts of Lovecraft and eat too many Peach Gummy Bears.
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