A Thomas Bess review of:
Directed By: Vincenzo Natali
Starring: Sarah Polley, Adrian Brody, Delphine Chaneac, Brandon McGibbon, Simona Maicanescu, David Hewlett
Run Time: 104 minutes filled with some of the worst scientific and parenting decisions you’ll ever see.
First off, a warning to those of you who base movie going decisions entirely on the contents of a trailer. If you’re heading into Splice with expectations that you’ll be seeing something akin to Species 2010, lemme just put that notion to bed right now. What’s being packaged as just another “creature on the loose” flick is actually more a look at the ethical boundaries of modern science mated with a study of family dynamics. Of course in the case of Splice, one member of the family is an androgynous humanoid thing with a mercurial temperament and nasty barbed stinger in its tail.
The Plot
The plot goes a little something like this: Scientists Elsa Kast and Clive Nicoli (Polley and Brody respectively) are on the cutting edge of gene splicing techniques and are on the verge of a breakthrough that’ll cure everything from Alzheimer’s to diabetes. The only problem is, they need to use human DNA to make the project a success and their bosses (Maicanescu and Hewlett) are more interested in making a cool billion on the current project which doesn’t have to worry itself with the ethical quandaries raised by having human soup involved. Elsa isn’t about to take this news lying down, so she convinces Clive to help her see if they can splice human and animal DNA. They do. Then she convinces him to see if they can successfully fertilize an embryo, just to see if it’s possible. They do. Then she says, well, since it’s already here, we might as well try to bring it to term. They do. It grows at a freakishly accelerated rate. Clive wants to terminate it, Elsa says “like hell you will” and after one of the oddest births I’ve ever seen, they’re the proud owners of something that looks like a cross between a human baby, a plucked chicken and an otter. Soon Dren (as they call it) is growing up fast and looking more and more human, despite the tail and weird kinked legs. From there it all goes downhill fast as the scientists try to keep their creation a secret while simultaneously keeping the “family” together, all while dealing with Dren’s increasingly violent tendencies.
The Good
What’s good? Splice has a very small cast with some combination of Polley, Brody and Chaneac on screen practically all the time. The first two have a believable chemistry together, managing to pull off the whole brilliant scientists bit without sounding like they’re just spouting memorized lines. Polley especially deserves credit for making Elsa someone who’s dedicated, earnest, vulnerable and borderline insane. If you take this in with a vocal crowd, I’d wager you’ll hear some interesting exclamations from your fellow theatergoers while they’re observing her character arc. But as good as Polley is, Delphine Chaneac just steals the show as the grown up incarnation of Dren. For a character that doesn’t speak a word, she’s (it’s? screw it, I’ll use the feminine just to make it easier on me) astoundingly expressive with a twist of her neck, an arched eyebrow or a whole range of bird-like chirpings and mutterings. And when she gets mad? Watch the hell out. All of that might’ve been for nothing if illusion was ruined by bad effects, but thankfully Dren’s design is handled with a perfect blend of practical effects and CGI. Seriously, you will never find yourself taken out of the story because something looks cheesy or unrealistic and that’s extremely refreshing in these days of bad green screening or visible zippers.
The Not So Good
What’s not good? Honestly, there isn’t much, it would be more accurate to ask what might bug some folks about this particular story and that I can answer. As mentioned above, the movie on display in the previews isn’t precisely the movie you’re going to get once the lights go down. Those of you looking for buckets of grue, musical stingers and poor saps being killed off every five minutes might find yourselves bored as there isn’t really any sustained violence until the last act and even then the body count is ridiculously low for a movie appearing under the Dark Castle banner. Also, there’s a scene toward the end of the second act and while I can’t say that it was poorly executed (because it wasn’t) it does have a sort of “Holy crap, they actually went there” quality to it and as such the audience wasn’t quite sure how to react. Stunned silence and a few gasps would’ve been appropriate, but it also got some chuckles which threw off the tone for the next few minutes. That said, it could very well be an audience specific problem that you won’t encounter. Finally, for a movie that’s refreshingly free of the problems of big studio genre efforts these days, the last scene comes off as a blatant sequel grab. Not saying that I’d mind another installment, but it’d be nice to see a story that stands all on its own and doesn’t beg to get the franchise treatment.
Should You See It?
Should you see it? If you’re looking for a lot of creature carnage and a bucket of blood, no, I’d suggest staying away. But if you’ve been searching for a slow burn, one that gets its horror from ideas rather than splatter, grab a likeminded friend and get thee to a theater. I’m confident you’ll have some interesting discussions afterward.
The Verdict
In honor of two of the more genetic monstrosities in Splice, I give this flick four giant, blobby worms out of five.
Til next time, always remember that the calls are coming from inside the house.
Tom Bess recently shaved his legendary sideburns at a cost of two hours and five pounds. The end result is a slightly puffier, but much more aerodynamic movie-reviewing machine who is still patiently waiting for Allison Mack to return his calls. While he’s waiting, he’ll read copious amounts of Lovecraft and eat too many Peach Gummy Bears.
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