A Thomas Bess review of:
Directed By: Nimrod Antal
Starring: Adrien Brody, Alice Braga, Laurence Fishburne, Walton Goggins, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, Oleg Taktarov, Louis Ozawa Changchien, Mahershalahashbaz Ali
Run Time: 106 spine-ripping, heat-visioning, voice-mimicking minutes.
Right out of the gates, it must be known that I love the original Predator. I attribute this to my dad, who I recall watching it with several times during my formative years and it has since become one of those flicks that I will pull off the shelf when there’s nothing better to do or I’m feeling crappy and need an instant dose of good cinematic karma. Alas, it’s been hard to be a fan of the franchise these last few years — Aliens vs. Predator sounded like it should have been a geek’s dream come true and we all know how that turned out. Same holds true for AVP: Requiem a movie that proved you don’t need a functional lighting rig to get a national release. Our only salvation seemed an impossibility: Robert Rodriguez had written a Predator 3 script, but the studios didn’t want it and the damned thing was destined to languish on a basement shelf for all eternity. Just when all felt lost, someone decided to give the thing a chance and now, here in the summer of 2010, we have Predators. Those of you hoping for some brilliant twist on the source material will probably emerge disappointed as what we’re given is pretty much the original movie on a larger scale and a different planet, but for those of you looking for a return to the series’ roots, I think you’ll be quite pleased with the latest rumble in the jungle.
The Plot
Normally I try to spend a decent amount of time laying out the plot, but the fact of the matter is, if you’ve seen the bit in the trailer when Adrien Brody says “This planet is a game preserve, and we’re the game.” then you know everything you need to know. Basically, a whole group of human weapons, including a mercenary, sniper, Spetnaz, death row convict, death squad hit-man, cartel enforcer, Yakuza badass and… a doctor (I suppose every team needs a medic) are all dropped deep in the heart of some primeval jungle and it doesn’t take them long to realize that, not only are they on a different planet, but something is hunting them and not in a friendly kind of “tag, you’re it” sort of way. Soon as that’s established (and it doesn’t take very long to do so) the rest of the film is one giant, well armed game of hide and seek where being found usually results in a delightfully squishy demise. There’s a few twists salted in near the end — one you’ll see coming from a mile away, the other is much harder to telegraph, though that doesn’t necessarily make it better. So yeah, it’s a simple premise, but one that works and opens up some interesting possibilities for later installments.
The Good
So what’s good? Casting and character development are quite good — in a story like this, which is really little more than a slasher movie in space, it would’ve been easy to churn out a bunch of cardboard cutouts and throw them through the Predator’s wood-chipper, but thankfully that’s not the case. While Brody, Braga and Grace’s characters are slightly more detailed than their companions, the others aren’t shortchanged–even the unlucky few who die sooner rather than later. Put another way, I doubt many folks will be able to pick the correct order in which these dopes are knocked off and that’s always a good thing. Special mention goes to Walton Goggins for being gleefully monstrous as death row inmate Stans and Louis Ozawa Changchien as Yakuza assassin Hanzo, the latter of which manages to pull off the (nearly) silent badass gimmick better than anyone I’ve seen in quite some time. Special effects were handled by Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero, so the Predators and the carnage they create look fan-freakin-tastic. Parents be warned, I know that ratings system is treated more like a guideline these days, but this is one instance where you’ll want to take heed. Aside from various impalements, beheadings, full body explosions and what not, we’re treated to several lingering close-ups on the Predators’ notoriously ishy faces and I doubt you’d want the kiddies worrying about these things lurking in their closets (unless of course you’re a fan of night terrors and frequent bed-wetting).
The Not So Good
And what’s not so good? You’ve undoubtedly seen Laurence Fishburne popping up in the trailers and a wee bit of digging will reveal that his character has been marooned on the game preserve planet for quite some time. Now, I tend to like him as an actor, but it just doesn’t work here. And it’s not even him, so much as how it’s written. As well developed and real as the other humans feel, this paranoid scavenger type comes off too hokey and over the top to really fit it. Another problem that presents itself more in the last third than anywhere else is a sudden shift in the creatures’ hunting philosophy. In the beginning they’re very patient and methodical, sticking to shadows, using distraction and other psychological ploys to confuse and eliminate their prey. But near the end they throw all that subterfuge out the window and just take a much more direct, Jason Voorhees-like approach. Not that I don’t appreciate a good face to face slashing, but I think it would’ve been more effective to keep the Predators hidden for a little while longer, because lets face it, no matter how good the effects, whatever your imagination conjures up is better. There’s also a subplot involving what appears to be two classifications (castes?) of Predators. The major threat in this film is the trio of new larger Predators, but there’s also a smaller or “classic” Predator (played by Derek Mears, awesome) and for whatever reason, they don’t like each other. Alas, there’s only a few lines and a fight sequence devoted to it, so we’re left wondering just what the hell is going on. I suppose it could be an angle to explore in a sequel, but if that’s the case, it seems like it should’ve been excised completely here and given full focus later on down the line.
Should You See It?
Should you see it? I’d say yes, but it should be noted that I saw it with a large group and a lot of them didn’t enjoy the experience. In the movie’s defense, most of them were drinking rather heavily and couldn’t provide any examples of what they didn’t like, save for the aforementioned twists, which, while kind of annoying, weren’t enough to hamper my enjoyment of the film overall. While Predators is not without its flaws, it will most definitely wash away the bad taste left by the two AVP flicks and hopefully lead to even better follow-ups in the years to come.
The Verdict
In an homage to the source material if “You set us up. It was bullshit, all of it.” is awful and “Get to da choppa!” is excellent, then I’d say this flick is damn near a “Stick around.” and that’s pretty not damned bad.
Til next time, always remember that the calls are coming from inside the house.
Tom Bess recently shaved his legendary sideburns at a cost of two hours and five pounds. The end result is a slightly puffier, but much more aerodynamic movie-reviewing machine who is still patiently waiting for Allison Mack to return his calls. While he’s waiting, he’ll read copious amounts of Lovecraft and eat too many Peach Gummy Bears.
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