It’s all the science fiction clichés you can imagine, compressed into a super diamond of unintentional hilarity.

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A reformed puritan assassin kicks monster ass for the Lord and the downtrodden (but mostly the downtrodden).

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It’s Alice in Wonderland meets Caged Heat.

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I mean, I thought the sequence in the new Last House on the Left was rough, but I Spit On Your Grave leaves it in the rearview.

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Is it a GOOD movie? Lord no, not in the slightest. But it is a good bad movie and more important (at least from where I’m standing) it’s a fun movie.

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Thanks to some well timed bribery and a willingness to take risks that I can’t even fathom, Samantha and Andrew end up on the scenic route back to the good ol’ U.S. of A., one that takes them through the heart of the Infected Zone. Along the way they’ll discover things about themselves, their companion and life itself, including such useful lessons as how to avoid being eaten by a tentacled horror from beyond the stars.

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The pale complexion, subtle signs of water damage, dark goggles and of course the SS Shock Trooper style uniforms make for a unique look in the hallowed halls of cinematic shamblers. It’s just too damned bad they’re not causing problems in a more interesting story.

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A simple story for sure, but also a perfect example of how a stripped down plot does just fine when you’ve got excellent folks working on both sides of the camera.

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Basically, think of those vignettes at the end of Deadliest Warrior, then stretch them out to a hundred minutes and you’ve got the story nailed down.

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Don’t bother trying to figure it out beforehand. I’m not saying that you won’t or can’t, I’m just saying the answer is so left field you might accidentally stumble across the solution, then immediately discard it with a contemptuous “…nah”.

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